By Mike Steiner

An eleventh-hour out-of-court settlement has finally brought to an end
Apple's long-running suit against Microsoft. Apple agreed to drop its
complaint,
while Microsoft made the following concessions:
 
1. Cede all rights to Flight Simulator to Apple.
2. Rename Microsoft Word to MacWrite Pro. MacWrite Pro will be named
   Microsoft Word, due for release "real soon now".
3. Purchase three warehouses full of unsold Apple Fax/modems, Quadra 700s,
   and Apple IIgs's.
4. Bill Gates promises to drive a '71 Dodge Dart for the rest of the year.
5. Change the names of all Windows menu items that correspond to those on
   the Mac -- for example, Open will change to Unclose, Save to Salvage, Cut to
   Extrapolate, Paste to Interpolate and Quit to Exit (in fact, the last has
   already been done). The name Windows itself will be changed to Fenestrations,
   so as to avoid any possible confusion with windows on the Macintosh.
6. Make Windows screen fonts and graphics even uglier (if possible).
7. Offer only 16-bit color in Windows. When a user selects 24-bit color, the
   following message will appear: "Get a Mac".
8. Add two more buttons to the Microsoft Mouse.