Some Windoze Q&A


Q:  Is it true that Microsoft wants to destroy all other software makers everywhere?

A:  Yes.  Some think not, because if Apple & IBM quit Microsoft would have no one to copy from.  In fact, if Mac and OS/2 were gone they would never have to update Windows again anyway, and they wouldn't even have to pay for a programming staff to rearrange pirated code.
                                                                                                                                          
Q:  Windows machines use the same monitors as everyone else.   Why does Windows look so crude and blocky and ugly?                                                                          
A:  Good graphics take a lot of work.  Designed with pride, they add greatly to the user experience.  How often have you seen garbagemen washing and waxing their truck?  On the inside?  In August?
                                                                                                                                                      
Q:  I'm a programmer and I'd like to join Microsoft and help shape the future of personal computing.  How do I apply?                                                                           
A:  Send in your resume.  Mark the envelope Attention: Unskilled Labor Pool.  If you're invited to interview, remember that any trace of integrity or self respect will disqualify you.  Pray loudly to any dollar bills you see, and be prepared to kiss a small, geeky looking man in glasses at any time.
                                                                        

Q: What's the difference between Microsoft Windoze and a computer virus?

A: The virus does less damage, takes up less disk space, and is easier to
get rid of it!!


Q: How many Windows programers does it take to change the lightbulb?

A: None! They disclare darkness as a new standard!


Q: How many Windows users does it take to change the lightbulb?

A: One. But he have to go to the store and buy a lightbulb-adapter first.


Client    : I can't write long words in Word. Why?

Ms Support: We know of this bug! Can't you write shorter words?